Just the Ring you wanted!!

While a marriage has been defined as a public declaration of a very private intention, an engagement is an announcement of that future declaration-to-come. And an engagement ring is the means to this end. Worn proudly on the ring finger of the left hand----after the proposer has gone down on his knees and literally begged to be accepted as a prospective husband---it is a statement of the likelihood of two people intending to live together happily ever after till death do us part.

Phew…….the stuff that dreams are made of to be sure but the engagement ring per se is every girl’s dream. So the boyfriend who intends to make his relationship more permanent sets out dutifully to make his purchase……a symbol of his eternal love…….and what better than the traditional diamond ring? Down the years, this task has been performed by the man in question privately; he presents a ring of his choice to his girl and makes her his official fiancée. With the new trend of couples opting to live-in before considering marriage, however, it is simpler to make the purchase together and select a piece of jewelry that both of them like. But if it is to be a surprise, how will she ensure that he gets her the one she always dreamed of?

The man shopping for an engagement ring is doing just that: shopping….an activity he abhors and will avoid if possible. But the situation warrants that he should not avoid it; he dreads rejection and he knows he better do a good job of it this one time.

The man loves the girl and most of all, he wants to make her happy. And it is to be a surprise, so he cannot ask her for advice. So the next logical step in this very emotional scenario will be to buy something that he can be sure will appeal to her on the same grounds that it appeals to him. Value for money is the top criteria in this regard. And the bigger, the more valuable, we know. So he will narrow down on what appears to be a good investment; which translates into the highest quality diamond he can afford while somewhere in his mind equating the value of the diamond with his level of love.

Armed with this decision, he walks into a jewelry retail store and realizes within minutes, this is not up his alley: too many choices, too many parameters to consider all at the same time, and the salesman’s all-perceiving look that is announcing clearly that he knows you know nothing. And every time he picks up a ring he feels maybe just right, the gnawing fear: what if she does not like it? All the zeros on the price tag and then to be rejected? Not a very encouraging tableau!!

Beating a hasty retreat, he decides to gather more information on the net with no one looking over his shoulder. The objective is to find a ring that she will like, that will suit his pocket, and that is a good investment---both with regard to relationships and money. Mastering the 4 Cs is easy enough but whether that will be enough to fulfill his goal remains to be seen.

So how can the girl in question ease the process and ensure the gift is one she’d be proud to show off? For starters, she must know/decide what shape of diamond and style of ring will suit her fingers. She must also identify the particular metal she would prefer for the ring: gold, platinum or any other. Once she has these aspects confirmed, she can drop subtle hints to that effect at various times and in different conversations. Or if both are comfortable with the idea, shop together; or at least window shop together so he understands her likes and dislikes and can still surprise her when the time is right. Both ways, this will ensure that she gets the ring she wants and he will be spared a ride through hell just to see her happy.

Always remember, the guy is doing all this only to please you; so it is well worth appreciating his efforts. Who knows, the engagement ring may not be the only diamond ring he will buy you!! It all depends on how you encourage his first attempts.